But it didn’t start that way. The gym was a means to an end. I just was going to lose enough weight to get the doctor’s off my back. Got tired of hearing: Your overweight. You need to lose weight. Your FAT! Never solutions other than eat less, exercise more. Oh yeah and drugs. Here are some magic pills that will make everything better. (For the record, I refused them.) I also had no problem with my weight. I carried it well. I kept up with the kids. Yeah I was tired, but ask any mother and they will tell you that. I kept asking myself, if I am okay with my weight, why can’t they be okay with my weight. Well, I will never get the answer to that question.
So to the gym I went. But I knew that if I was going to be successful at this endeavor, I was going to have to have a personal trainer. I had to have that “appointment” scheduled in my daily planner. I had to be held accountable. Plus, I had never really ever been in a gym. I was 34 years old and walking into a gym was like my worst nightmare. I didn’t play sports in highschool. Never even knew we had a weight room at my highschool until last year. HA! So I hired a personal trainer. She and I got along just fine. And we did alot of isolation training. And boy did I find muscles that I never even knew existed. There were alot of days I could barely walk I was so sore. But she helped me manage that as well. I really didn’t like going to the gym. But it was an appt in my planner, so I went. Plus I was trying to drop under 200 lbs.
Well one thing led to another and I had to take 2 weeks off to go help my Grandmother who was trying to fight cancer. I got a phone call on the way home, that my trainer had left and she had transferred me over to another trainer at the gym. Well, that is when my gym time got flipped upside down. Andrew introduced me to the barbell. And I fell in love with it. No more machines for me! I want to feel that steel on my hands, over my head, on my back! We started out with the little sissy bar. I still use it for my clean and snatches, but boy, I despise that bar. Everyone I saw was using the 45 lb bar and here I was using the “LADIES” bar. I even hate its name. Any how, at some point, I moved up bars, and rarely does that bar come out.
I mean today, I was doing clean and jerks. And I totally nailed 95 lbs with no issues. (It is totally mental.. I know this… and it normally eats my lunch.) But not today! 100 lbs now that took some effort. I tried and tried and tried… And I just couldn’t get the timing right with the lift. (I still have some form issues I need to work on as well… But all in good time). Finally on the 4th attempt, I nailed the clean. It was ugly, but it was done.. and I promptly set the bar down… I totally forgot the jerk portion of the lift. I was so freaking excited that I got the clean! I was ready to celebrate. Ha! It was a good laugh. Time to focus and make the next lift. It was still 100 lbs but this time I was going to clean and jerk! And I pulled it up, snapped under it, caught the weight in a squat and forced my elbows forward and stood up. It felt so much prettier than the first 100 lb clean! Let the weight settle on my shoulders and deep breathe and the weight flies up over my head! YEAH!!! Did you hear that?! All the cheering.. Probably not because it is all in my head! But that rush that you get when you have been struggling and finally it all just goes right and you complete that lift. It is the BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD.
I know that every day I go to the gym, I am probably not going to have that feeling. And there are days, that I just want to scream and get mad and angry and nothing went well. I feel like crap. But I know that is just part of the journey. That the mountain in front of me, WILL be conquered and I will move on to another mountain. But it is days like today that you feel spectacularly wonderful because you have moved a bit closer to removing that mountain in front of you.
I am so thankful that I was introduced to the barbell. I am thankful for the people I have met because of it. And trust me, there are some really awesome people that I have met (maybe not in person, but still) because of my weekly date with the barbell. I have some great friends that listen to me on the bad days, and celebrate with me on the good days! I am thankful I have a date with a barbell!