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Archive for February, 2010

So a friend sends me an advert on how to save 75% on your grocery bill!!!!   Well let me tell you.. Coupons is like another language and you need a rosetta stone to understand!   Well to say I am understanding it all, is an far from the truth.. But I thought I would start out small and see what I could do and not spend a lot of money.  So what I did was looked at the Buy one get one free deals in the publix and then build coupons based on those sales.    And so that is what i did!  I spent about a half hour searching the internet and the circular’s I have collected.  So the good news is:  Out of pocket cost:  46.55 savings:  48.77!!!!  Yippee!

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is when my daughter voluntarily falls asleep in my arms.   The peaceful look upon her face.   I know I am not going to get many more days like this.   She was so itty bitty when she was born.  And now she won’t even fit on my chest when she sleeps.  I have to cradle her across my body and let her legs dangle.  She is getting so big!  Lately, I have been trying to enjoy these moments with both my kids.

Martha is the look of triumph when she accomplishes things!  The look of satisfaction.   Especially lately with her playing the violin.   She loves it.  She absolutely gets it.   She wants to feel the music. She wants to make “beautiful music” like she here on TV when we listen to the orchestra play.   She can pick out the different instruments.    You can see the music in her veins.   Gymnastics is much the same way (when she decides to focus).  Especially with the vault.  She loves the  springboard.  She knows the harder she runs the higher she is going to fly.    And that is what she wants to do.. Fly like tinkerbell!   And she lands and sticks a landing.   She loves it.   Just gets such a high from it.

I don’t care if my kids are perfect.  They aren’t.  They are kids.  But even in an imperfect situation, you can see moments of perfection even if it is just a small glimpse.   And that is what is worth holding on too!

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A day in the life…
I am not entirely sure why anyone would want to read what I have to write.  But in case I have someone who reads this, I am going to be faith.   Tomorrow starts Lent.  Yes, I am Catholic.   Not a very good one.. but trying to work on that.   So I will be attending Ash Wednesday mass and then we are going to buy jelly beans!  Oh yeah, baby!  My favorite.  There is a jelly bean prayer that we are going to use.  And good deeds will correlate to a specific color and we will make our lenten jars!  I think this will be a great way for the kids to get credit for doing good things.   It might even extend past lent.   We will have to see how it goes!

I told the kids about the jelly bean project and they seem to be very excited about it.  So this i think will be a good thing.

I have been asked to sew a wedding dress.  And I am very afraid to start it.  What happens if it doesn’t fit.   if she doesn’t like it.  I mean this just isn’t a dress this is THE dress.     But today I sorted one of my daughter’s pants issues.  Her pants don’t fit .. they either fit her in the legs, and are way to small in the waste.. or they are WAY to long in the legs and fit her in the waist.  So today, I cut the legs off her pants and made ruffles to go on the bottom of the pant legs.   I think they look super cute.  But I don’t know if she likes cute any more.  She is so growing up!  It kills me.

I rocked Becca to sleep today.  And let her lay in my arms.  I know those days are almost over and I don’t want to miss them.   It is perfect bliss watching a baby sleep in your arms.   Knowing that you are there to protect them from everything.

I hope this lenten season I can get my head straight.   I seem to have been on a roller coaster.   Trying to be happy and make everyone else happy.   Or I am really snappy.   I want to be in the middle.  Just going about life and being able to deal with what comes my way.

Well my bed is calling me.   Next week I hope to have my rose bed mulched and one of my garden beds weeded and plants in them!

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I am so upset with myself.   What I am doing wrong that Becca keeps getting sick.    She has only output 36 ml’s of urine in 16 hours.    For those that don’t keep up with how much a 2 year old is suppose to out put.. it is 180 ml a day.   So um.. yeah.. numbers aren’t adding up.   Protein in her urine.   I keep telling myself not to freak out… Keep calm.  Just make it to Monday and then the doctor can see her again and we can avoid the ER.   She had a bloody nose tonight as well.   I have soaked her in baking soda baths… I have ran water.. We have had potty dances.   I have left her alone about it for hours thinking maybe I was pushing too much.   She is sleeping in my bed tonight because I am too nervous something else is going to happen.  Oh yeah.. she had a fever this afternoon too…   But my thermometer doesn’t work.   OMG!!!! it is brand new…   and it keeps telling me everyone’s temperature is 95.5… um.. wrong answer dear.

I just want to not see doctors.  Is that too much to ask?  I don’t want to sit here at night and wonder if I really need to take her to the ER.    She is 2 years old and her medical file is already over 2 inches thick.   she is 2.   btw, she is on antibotics for an ear infection.  It is all pussy and nasty.   We just got off antibotics not more than 8 day ago.

GRRRR.. I am frustrated atm.

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I am having a very hard time with homeschooling.   It is a constant fight atm.   I am coming up with new ideas but then when Martha blows me off, I take it personal.   Which isn’t helping anything.   I am tempted to just buy a set of book (like from Bob Jones, etc) and just force it.  But why force it.. homeschooling is suppose to be fun and encourage learning.. Not just force feed information.   My mom says that Martha just isn’t ready.   I don’t think that is the problem.   Martha likes to jump on every boundary set for her.   So it won’t matter if we put her in public school / private school … or what ever… the arguement will stay the same.   Just different time of day…
I really feel in my heart, homeschooling is where she needs to stay.   I just need some support in it.. and I am not getting it.    Instead they are just making the problem more difficult on me, by adding more pressure to put her in public school.   Not saying public school is bad.. That is where I went to school at… Just saying it doesn’t fulfill Martha’s needs.

Then there is the matter of violin.   Martha desperately wants to play.   But where we are now, she has to take piano and violin.   And she doesn’t want to play piano at all.   I understand that it is easier to learn to read music with piano, but she doesn’t want too.. She wants to play violin.   That is it… play violin.  She wants to play gorgeous music (which is what she calls it when she hears violin playing.)   It calms her.   It almost puts her in a trance.   She LOVES it.     I am thinking about leaving the conservatory where she is at now, and trying to find someone who will work with her.   Who will play with her… She will mimic anything a violinist will play.   She just needs the guidance.   And show piano to the wayside.. I don’t know..    She is a complicated kid.

Am I making excuses for her?   I don’t know.   I know she is difficult to teach.   I truely get that.   I am still working on it myself.   But at least I am trying.    I feel like she just gets shoved in the corner.. And she has to see progress or she gets frustrated and gets negative!   So that is good.

I am really nervous about becca’s surgery.  They aren’t going to put an iv in her before the surgery.  I would almost prefer that one gets put in, just incase something goes wrong.     She has blood pressure issues…  She has a kidney disease.   She has had alot of odd things happen to her in her life time….   And she is only 2… I mean come on.. last time they put an iv in her.. it took OMG 45 minutes…  if something goes wrong.. they won’t have 45 minutes..   so why won’t they just make me feel better and put on in her…

I will find out more at the walk through next monday.

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