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Archive for March, 2013

I have alot that I keep thinking about in my head.  So it is best to just jot it down and dump it tonight.    This week has been a tough week in the gym!   But I have been asking for it.   I kept throwing around the E word… That nasty E word!  ha!   And truthfully, I was working hard at the gym, but it seemed a bit too easy.   Easy isn’t the right word.  It wasn’t challenging.  It was status quo.   I probably could have done another set or two.   Well…. that all changed this week.   I worked hard this week.  Harder than I have in a long time.  I got frustrated.  I struggled.   It was like that stupid bar was messing with my head.   I mean… I can front squat 120 lbs….   There was only 75 lbs on the bar…   yet, i couldn’t clean it easily.  I struggled.   Mentally alot because I knew I could squat it if I could only clean it.   It took me 3-4 times to clean it.   God that messed with my mind.   Today, I couldn’t keep up with my training partner.   She was a monster today.   And truthfully, I didn’t know that I WANTED to go to the gym.   But 40 minutes before my scheduled time, my trainer texts me:  Can you be here in 10 minutes…..   So I went.   But that bothers me.  I actually contemplated not going.   I was so afraid of not being able to do what I was going to be asked.   Yeah I know!  I need to have more FAITH and CONFIDENCE.   I lack it.  I know.     And oh what fun was to be had.    A Deck of cards… a barbell and a dumbbell…   about 15-10 cards left, I wanted to quit.   I was sore.  I was sweaty.  I was beyond done.    But I kept going.   I finished.    Not exactly sure.  I remember telling someone that I couldn’t even feel my legs anymore while doing squats.   But I kept going.

This week sucked.   BUT lets look at the upside.  Because that is where the lesson is:  I did more than I didn’t think I could do!  I finished when I wanted to give up.   I have a great support system that I need to learn to trust, have faith, and believe in.   I will get stronger!  I will overcome pushups.   I will overcome burpees.   I will clean 75 lbs!   I will move forward!

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